20 Things I Wish I Had Known In My 20s

April 17, 2018

Today's post is essentially random musings of things I’ve learned in 31 years that I think are important. Many of these things I wish I would've known in my 20s. I think that my quality of life would be substantially better than it is now. That's not to say that my life stinks now because it certainly doesn't. However, that doesn't mean that I couldn't have done things better. I put this guide together to help you do just that. Let's begin.

 

 1. Adults for the most part don’t know shit: Honestly, you would be surprised at how many adults are out here just winging it. Yes, this includes your parents. No, I don’t know them personally, but 85% of humans fall into the average category. Our parents are included. The average adult doesn't know much beyond what is fed to them through various institutions. Few people actually take the time to immerse themselves in the vast bounty of the world, thus leaving them with limited knowledge of how things actually work.

 

 2. Your health should be your number 1 priority: I made the mistake throughout my schooling (9 years) of ignoring it. I imagine that my performance would’ve been substantially better had I had a solid foundation in health. My family didn’t emphasize it so I am now. I could whine and cry about not having positive examples of health in my family, but that would be pointless. It may not have been my fault that I didn't have these influences, but it is my responsibility to fix it so I have accepted that.

 

3. Sexual energy is very underdeveloped: People really don’t understand the power that’s in between their legs, especially men. I used to be a huge proponent of stacking bodies. Now, not so much because men don’t know you can and *should* create other things with that energy. Sexual energy is very potent. It is the energy of creation. You can use that energy in many ways while you're in the act or if you're just aroused. Get accustomed to using excess sexual energy to finish other tasks or get in a creative space.

 

4. Relationships are a distraction: Either they’re a happy one or a miserable one. The fact remains that your attention has to be devoted to your partner X amount of the time. That’s energy than can go somewhere else. If you have big things to work on, relationships can wait. There's no shame in being selfish at this time, because when you do decide to be with someone, you want to be able to devote the proper time and energy to deepen your love and bond with your chosen partner.

 

5. You die several times within your life if you’re living right: This has to be my 9-10th incarnation in this body if not more. We assimilate vast amounts of knowledge, habits, & systems daily that should make us hypocrites on some level. Then you die (sleep) & rebirth (awaken). This cycle of knowledge accumulation should happen several times and eventually birth a brand new person. An easy way to think about this is that successful people find a way to reinvent themselves every 5 years. This is the epitome of death and rebirth.

 

6. Age =\= wisdom: There are plenty of old fools. There are plenty of people on their deathbed that lived an unfulfilled life. Just because someone is old, does not mean that they are wise. A lot of old people will die with nothing because they didn’t take risks and they didn’t learn. It's easy to spot this type of elder as they are very vocal about their distaste for certain things that you do including but not limited to travelling, fine dining, or entrepreneurship. You represent all of the things that they were too afraid to do so they project their frustration on you.

 

7. Sacrificing for the wrong thing can set you back: If you sacrifice your time and energy for bullshit, you will find yourself behind very quickly. All sacrifices aren’t good ones. Take a mental inventory of what you’re willing to give up time for and assess ROI.

 

8. Your friends are your chosen family, choose wisely: if your family is ass, I have great news. You can pick a new one. Your friends can create the environment you’ve always wanted. However, make sure you cultivate self first so that you attract what you actually want in people.

 

9. Give more than you take: relationships at worst should be even value exchanges. At best, you will find a way to give more than you take. If you dance with another in this relationship with the same attitude, it balances over time, but your connection deepens.

 

10. Develop a hearty laugh: this has been a pretty intense level up for me. I’ve always had a distinct laugh, but now it’s powerful. If your laughter doesn’t command the attention of others, you got work to do. Laughter should be infectious and indicate your self-confidence.

 

11. Love is not enough: love can keep a bond alive forever, but just because something is alive, that doesn’t mean it’s functional. You have to nurture that bond with what/whoever you love. Otherwise, it’s just another bridge subject to the same overgrowth that great ruins experience.

 

12. Do not be neutral: I’m not saying you have to be super positive or super negative. However, you should not be neutral. People should feel something when they see you. It should stir something deep within them. They should know exactly how they feel when your name is mentioned. Creating this polarity is essential to attracting what you desire in your life.

 

13. A vast vocabulary opens doors: people with more words at their disposal often know exactly what to say and when to say it. An enhanced vocabulary often indicates vast life experience, which generally indicates more value. I’m still trying to use “picaresque” in a sentence. Any suggestions are welcome.

 

14. Nature is the real church: if you go to church every Sunday, but you don’t go outside and experience mama earth, can you really say that you’re connected spiritually? Nature encapsulates the fluid, dynamic behavior of life that most, if not all book lessons come from.

 

15. Life is good: if you decide that it is and commit to it being so everyday. There was a time where I had a hard time getting up in the morning, now I wake up early and inspired simply by believing in my core that no matter what, life is good.

 

16. Success is earned, not given: some people have higher barriers to entry, but success is still earned. You must also define what success is to you. This can make or break your life. The only person that owes you anything is you and you owe yourself your best daily.

 

17. Do the small things well: the small things are your foundation for your success. Ignoring them will ensure that whatever you build your foundation on will crumble. Each forest starts with one tree. Focus on planting trees. The forest will come with persistence and dedication.

 

18. Be kind, not nice: kindness is genuine. Kindness is authentic. Kindness is heartfelt. It is one of your greatest offerings. Therefore, it’s not for everyone. This creates polarity. You can be nice to everybody. Nice is fleeting. Nice is forgettable. Nice is naive.

 

19. Assume that everyone you meet has experienced some kind of trauma: either they’ve overcome it and are doing just fine, or they need your guidance to overcome it. Either way, assume something traumatic has happened. This helps you understand fundamental human interactions and things that people might erroneously be projecting onto you.

 

20. Stack skills: the more skilled you are, the more valuable you are. Skilled people are always in demand somewhere. The more skills you have, the more doors you open. Be especially vigilant about stacking the skills that compliment your gender. They increase polarizability.

 

These 20 things will serve you well if you're a 20-something trying to find your way or if you just want to live more deliberately. They are valuable lessons that I have learned and will apply well into my 30s and for the rest of my life.

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